כ״ו באייר ה׳תשע״ג (May 6, 2013)
As a young couple about to embark on one of life s most important journeys, may you have only joy and success. An important part of this journey is developing physical intimacy the unique pleasure of the sexual experience.
Your enjoyment as sexual partners is more than just physical; you can feel closeness with another person that no other experience can provide.
Your sharing of physical intimacy creates an emotional bond that should include feelings of trust, acceptance, caring, and mutuality. Your intimate relationship is the glue that binds your marriage together.
Yet advice about the sexual experience that was once passed from parent to child is no longer, and as a result many couples are left to face this critical area of their lives with little guidance or information.
A sex therapist has created the first ever sex manual for ultra-Orthodox Jews, writes the BBC.
New York-born and now Jerusalem-based Dr. David Ribner put together The Newlywed’s Guide to Physical Intimacy which touches on the very taboo subject in the ultra-religious community of sex.
“Sex is only appropriate within a marital context,” Dr. Ribner says. “Beyond that it’s not talked about. Because of that, it’s become very difficult for people to have any kind of dialogue about it.”
Dr. Ribner says even though sex is a positive action in Judaism it has become so taboo that he felt compelled to create the 92-page book to dispel myths.
“We wanted there to be a place where people could say, ‘I know nothing and I want to know something.”
Dr. Ribner even breaks visual taboos. The manual comes with a sealed envelope that contains three diagrams of basic sexual positions.
“We wanted to give people a sense of not only where to put their sexual organs, but where to put their arms and legs,” Ribner says. “If you have never seen a movie, never read a book, how are you supposed to know what you do?”
The sketches are simple: outlined figures with no faces.
“We wanted this to be acceptable to the widest possible population with the least risk of it being offensive,” he says.
“We did consult many other sex manuals to see what kind of illustrations they use, and we felt they were just too graphic to be comfortable for people who had really had no contact with this aspect of their lives.”
Ribner’s book was released last year in English, and is about to be published in Hebrew – and that could create quite a firestorm.
“I suspect it will meet tremendous negative reaction – at least within the most extreme elements of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community,” Menachem Friedman, a professor and sociologist who has written numerous books on Israel’s ultra-Orthodox community, told the BBC.
But Friedman agrees the book is sorely needed and that the controversy won’t preclude brisk behind-the-counter sales. (Zach Pontz, The Algemeiner)
This instructive and easy-to-read guide can help you navigate new and uncharted area of your lives. For chassan and kallah, as well as for teachers, rabbis, and anyone with questions about sexuality coming from the Torah observant community. It is user-friendly, with clear and descriptive language, and the information and guidance found in this book is not available anywhere else in the religious world.
David S. Ribner earned his Smicha and MSW degree from Yeshiva University and his doctorate from Columbia University. He is the founder and director of the Sex Therapy Training Program, School of Social Work, Bar-Ilan University and is certified as a sex therapist in Israel and the United States. He is in private practice as a sex and marital therapist in Jerusalem and writes and lectures extensively on Judaism and sexuality.
Jennie Rosenfeld (co-author) holds a PhD in English from the City University of New York Graduate Center, and has done groundbreaking research on contemporary Modern Orthodox sexual ethics. Previously, she served as the cofounder and director of Tzelem, a Special Project of Yeshiva University, whose goal was to bring more sexual education resources to different constituents within the Orthodox community.
“The Newlywed Guide to Physical Intimacy” by Jennie Rosenfeld and Rabbi David S. Ribner [Kindle Edition] is available for iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad with free Amazon app (download app – here), get Amazon app for BlackBerry – here, for Android – here and for PC– here
File Size: 379 KB
Print Length: 96 pages
Publisher: Gefen Publishing House (July 1, 2011)
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
Price: $10.46 (Buy now)
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